Sponge bath it is.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
