Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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