I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He shit in the fireplace
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
