At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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