it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
