yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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