people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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