she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
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We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
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you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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