just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
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Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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