Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
