Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
