I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
