I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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