have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
