Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize