do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
