here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
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can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
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U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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