your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
