you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
