Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer