Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.