Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.

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  (402): I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed. http://tfl.nu/mbr1
  Replies (153) Good night (13312) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now

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  (423): ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now http://tfl.nu/2rfn
  Replies (27) Good night (5227) Bad night (1001)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I got "discovered a new religion high" last night

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  (214): I got "discovered a new religion high" last night http://tfl.nu/qcb6
  Replies (23) Good night (5075) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

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  (913): He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me. http://tfl.nu/hd8j
  Replies (36) Good night (867) Bad night (4366)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina

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  (763): i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina http://tfl.nu/awuu
  Replies (30) Good night (1060) Bad night (7878)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.

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  (561): If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls. http://tfl.nu/stc1
  Replies (8) Good night (3880) Bad night (1509)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...

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  (785): Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday... http://tfl.nu/8w3z
  Replies (3) Good night (2590) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.

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  (916): It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie. http://tfl.nu/mir1
  Replies (12) Good night (1903) Bad night (803)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?

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  (303): How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads? http://tfl.nu/o7ne
  Replies (10) Good night (1757) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world

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  (+61): I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world http://tfl.nu/cuud
  Replies (1) Good night (933) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.

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  (317): Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South. http://tfl.nu/tqtt
  Replies (1) Good night (323) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.

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  (218): I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again. http://tfl.nu/g6kg
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.

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  (860): I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum. http://tfl.nu/q7aq
  Replies (0) Good night (647) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.

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  (316): She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior. http://tfl.nu/1ryz
  Replies (0) Good night (519) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.

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  (406): I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers. http://tfl.nu/b6xw
  Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (313)

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