Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself. http://tfl.nu/iwxe
  Replies (65) Good night (1407) Bad night (5050)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them http://tfl.nu/31n4
  Replies (25) Good night (686) Bad night (4538)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing. http://tfl.nu/1chf
  Replies (13) Good night (3945) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car http://tfl.nu/wwsk
  Replies (11) Good night (842) Bad night (3352)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil. http://tfl.nu/drc4
  Replies (13) Good night (7524) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest. http://tfl.nu/apc8
  Replies (37) Good night (8906) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for? http://tfl.nu/k6v7
  Replies (16) Good night (1156) Bad night (3789)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot. http://tfl.nu/6tih
  Replies (5) Good night (5688) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test? http://tfl.nu/9rcf
  Replies (20) Good night (1124) Bad night (3673)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Casually had to file a missing persons report last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Casually had to file a missing persons report last night http://tfl.nu/xg7g
  Replies (12) Good night (880) Bad night (1867)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/ixaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1438) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it. http://tfl.nu/m7ga
  Replies (23) Good night (658) Bad night (2210)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!! http://tfl.nu/47bh
  Replies (4) Good night (945) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE

  (585): View more from New York

  AND NO VODKA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE (585): AND NO VODKA http://tfl.nu/16y5
  Replies (2) Good night (252) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest. http://tfl.nu/ic86
  Replies (2) Good night (493) Bad night (208)

Randomize