Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just pynch a tree in the face

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  (336): I just pynch a tree in the face http://tfl.nu/eknu
  Replies (6) Good night (1172) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami

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  (949): Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami http://tfl.nu/v8jf
  Replies (11) Good night (503) Bad night (2660)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!

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  (870): The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!! http://tfl.nu/bjxs
  Replies (31) Good night (3789) Bad night (1166)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.

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  (630): she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers. http://tfl.nu/u7sr
  Replies (9) Good night (878) Bad night (5172)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem

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  (209): We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem http://tfl.nu/pftr
  Replies (31) Good night (3270) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.

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  (740): he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero. http://tfl.nu/6a8a
  Replies (10) Good night (3438) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.

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  (906): I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap. http://tfl.nu/cxzw
  Replies (5) Good night (1792) Bad night (2706)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...

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  (541): Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds... http://tfl.nu/27nn
  Replies (6) Good night (2003) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?

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  (361): Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive? http://tfl.nu/y06z
  Replies (5) Good night (1721) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?

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  (217): Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up? http://tfl.nu/08g9
  Replies (7) Good night (4363) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.

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  (303): You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead. http://tfl.nu/vdho
  Replies (1) Good night (1971) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.

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  (208): Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind. http://tfl.nu/wqhb
  Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction

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  (843): No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction http://tfl.nu/q1mm
  Replies (1) Good night (340) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with

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  (425): My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with http://tfl.nu/lkbr
  Replies (2) Good night (865) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool

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  (775): Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool http://tfl.nu/1zs1
  Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (176)

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