summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
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You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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