just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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