My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize