who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
