Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
