the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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