I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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