It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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