he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She bit a glass in half.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize