I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
