sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
