Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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