you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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