evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
