i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
