Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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