so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
