Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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