drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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