Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
