Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
