Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
