your thong is hanging out like whoa
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
