just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
