So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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