Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
