We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
