Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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