The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
