You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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