The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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