I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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