One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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