Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
