so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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