tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
