: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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