Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
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the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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