WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
