4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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